My Own Worst Enemy

…is sitting right here, her hands on my keyboard. She thinks she’s helping me write my novel. But what she’s really doing is spewing out the longest so-called outline in the history of the world, saying it’s the only way she knows how to write this novel, though she knows it’s completely unnecessary and she’s [...]

Intentions

There are so many things I want to write! So many things half-done, partly done, started, stopped… and if only I had the time to give to them. I’m having a hard time focusing during my time off—how do other people do it? Yes, yes, I know everyone says “don’t quit your day job,” so [...]

Personal Disclaimer

I wonder if I should walk around during the day wearing a sign that says:
I don’t really feel like talking.
Topics I do not want to talk about include: my writing, your writing, writing in the past, writing in the future, my progress with my outline, the beautiful state of California, lunch and what to eat [...]

Who Is . . . ?

Who is Steven Millhauser? I was first introduced to his fiction when I was 22 and in graduate school; the book was Martin Dressler, the city New York, and if you write a dreamy, magical-realist take of Manhattan a century ago, you’ve got me at the first page, even way back then.
Then, years later, I [...]

Don’t Wanna Get Up?

Here are my Tried-and-True Tips for How to Wake Yourself Up When It’s Saturday Morning and You’re Drifting on the Couch and the Clock is Ticking and You Have Just Two Days to Write and Sleep Is Not an Option:

Keep a lamp on, shining down directly in your face; it’s extremely uncomfortable, and hot in [...]

Maybe Tomorrow

I keep getting pulled in new directions. I’ll be sitting at my desk doing whatever it is I do all day and I’ll look up and think, Wow, I’ve really got to get rid of all my old clothes and books and papers and rearrange the bedroom and maybe I should get to that tomorrow. [...]

Shopping Excursion

On a lighter note, so innocent pre-rejection, I had to return some clothes yesterday. One item was a black dress that looked like I was wearing a sack. The other a pair of work-shorts. Who wears work shorts? People much taller than me, obviously. So I went to the store to make the returns and, [...]

One Last Bite

My other half, who knows me better than I know myself, has pointed out that I have this quirk while eating—cute? wasteful? just plain annoying?—in which I never finish what is on my plate. I always leave a piece of lettuce, a fallen bit of broccoli, one last bite. It’s just something I do, I [...]

Momentary Burst of Motivation

I hit a moment yesterday morning in the minutes before I had to leave my writing spot for the subway that sent me flying high with motivation, making plans, assuring the good half of me that I would not let the bad half give up. I have flirted with giving up on things over the [...]

Monster in the Subway

I am very, very disappointed in myself, and this disappointment turned me into a terrible monster today, made better now only because e made breakfast for dinner and helped me henna my roots, a process my mother used to call a “hennema” (pronounce like “enema”), which makes me laugh. And a hennema’d laughing monster isn’t [...]

My Civic Duty and How It Involves Dim Sum

Jury Duty in Manhattan isn’t all hardship. The courthouse I was in today was steps away from Chinatown, which to my mind means one thing and one thing only: vegetarian dim sum! (How could I not take advantage during lunch break and search out the place I always have trouble finding in order to have [...]

Off Chances, Lost Songs and Stories, Countersignatures, Strawberry Fluoride, and Me and Me and Me and Me

On the off chance that you were wondering, this was the week I…
…lost my whole hard drive, writing and pictures and passwords and letters and songs and mysteries galore…
…was delivered a countersigned contract for my novel with a message from my editor that it is now time for more cake!…
…waded through messes at work…
…though there [...]

What My Locker Reveals

Inside the storage locker at my weekend writing spot are the following items that I keep on hand in case I might need them at a moment’s notice:

1 black sweater
1 used plastic bag, for covering laptop if it rains
1 Antioch Review magazine
1 You Can Write for Children Writers Digest Guide
2 Open City magazines
1 large pencil [...]

Possible Excuses for Missing Deadline

My manuscript was stolen and I only just paid the ransom to get it back.
I am allergic to revision and had to take antibiotics and wait for the swelling to go down.
Bad spill. Can’t read revision notes.
Grizzly bears / wild boars / rabid pigeons ate it.
I had a finger injury and lost all ability to [...]

Deadline vs. Life

My deadline for the revision of my 40,000-word work-for-hire manuscript is this coming Friday, April 25. Even if I tried to keep working on this all day today (Saturday), and then all day tomorrow (Sunday), and then all through the week—keeping in mind I leave for my day job at nine in the morning and [...]

A to Z

I have the revision notes for the work-for-hire manuscript I’ve been ghostwriting. I am overwhelmed. I am wanting to revise this and make it good. But I am still digesting the notes. Compliments go a long way with me, yes, so when I feel freaked out I just read the editor’s first paragraph where she [...]

They Pay You to Do This?

Scene: Italian cafe, near-empty on a Sunday afternoon. I sit alone at a table near the window.
Elderly busboy with unidentifiable (though most certainly not Italian) accent approaches when I ask for the check. The waiter will be just a moment, he tells me.
Then, motioning down at the stack of manuscript pages I am reading, he [...]

One Week Later

It’s been a week since I learned I’m actually going to publish a novel. (The delirium can be re-experienced here.) Yes, it’s now a week later, and though my editor asked for my information including social security number and the name I want the copyright to be under for the contract I am still floating [...]

5 Unusual Things

Annika tagged me to reveal 5 unusual things about myself and I am having a hard time thinking of any! I must be more normal than I realized. I may have revealed some possibly unusual secrets here, but I’ll try to think of some new ones.
1. I hate donuts. Now, I’m sure there are lots [...]

The Absolute Best Thing That Could Happen When You Are Racing Toward a Deadline:

You get the flu!
No, really!
I’ve been sick since Wednesday night—basically immobile since Thursday night—and have so much work to do! There were times during the high points of my fever when I couldn’t even stress over the upcoming deadline, I just thought of it all in lazy colored shapes, easily confused, forgotten. I am more [...]