Who Is . . . ?

Who is Steven Millhauser? I was first introduced to his fiction when I was 22 and in graduate school; the book was Martin Dressler, the city New York, and if you write a dreamy, magical-realist take of Manhattan a century ago, you’ve got me at the first page, even way back then.
Then, years later, I [...]

Return to the Scene of the Crime, But Free!

I’m back at my morning writing spot, the place where my laptop’s hard-drive died, peeking at the table where it happened. I’m not being all doomsday, or even nostalgic—someone else is sitting in the table: a man charging his cell phone and drinking something out of a paper bag. So I can’t sit there even [...]

They Pay You to Do This?

Scene: Italian cafe, near-empty on a Sunday afternoon. I sit alone at a table near the window.
Elderly busboy with unidentifiable (though most certainly not Italian) accent approaches when I ask for the check. The waiter will be just a moment, he tells me.
Then, motioning down at the stack of manuscript pages I am reading, he [...]

About My Lack of People Skills and My Propensity to Lose Gloves

I lost my gloves Friday. They were a mismatched pair, gone from my pockets somewhere near Rockefeller Center. One was from this pair, one from another pair entirely. I think it was while at lunch with two people I used to work with—I felt uncomfortable with myself, and this was before I lost the gloves. [...]

More Noise Please

I write this amid pipes banging from the radiator, video-game revelers in the apartment downstairs, a dog barking, and high-heeled pacing above my head. My neighbor just slammed her door again, making the walls shake. Soon a car alarm in the parking garage across the way will go off, as it likes to late at [...]

The Moment After

I was in the expected table at an expected Starbucks this morning, reading a short story: “The Shape of Water” by Mark Slouka, from his book Lost Lake. Distractions abounded. A girl with ash on her head stared vacantly in my direction. A man with a bike and an old boom box danced on the [...]

Crossing the Line

I am often in danger of crossing the line with my fiction, I know this. It’s not that I write shocking things, or play with form or genre too much. It’s that my fiction isn’t always all fiction. Sometimes it’s semi-real. I often have to change identifying characteristics. I don’t know why I’m inspired by [...]

Dear World

Dear Powers That Be:
I have heard a rumor that if you would like your life to change, you must do something about it yourself. For instance, a person who might be intrigued to find herself working a new job might actually have to send out her résumé. A writer who wants to be published has [...]

And Now a Message from My Mother

I love my mom. Want to know why? She asked me to bring her the newest YA series book I ghostwrote along with the one that came before it (written by someone else, someone who got paid a lot more than I did). I don’t know what I expected my mother to do with these [...]

distraction no. 99: 2006 in Review

I started posting sporadically in this blog in 2006. I started by carrying some older posts from another anonymous blog over here as a tease. Then I deleted that anonymous blog and stayed here for good. Now, apparently, I can’t stop. So here’s to a new addiction, or, I should say distraction… I tell you—it’s [...]

Home

We were upstate for the holiday, there where the road signs were hard to find, where the directions to the house included such gems as “this road twists and turns a lot” (huge understatement) and “the road sign says the road ends, but don’t believe it—keep going” (true). We’d picked up the car left behind [...]

Read Me (or maybe you’d better not)

The short story that recently got accepted to a lit journal had me thrilled, as you know, and pretty much bouncing off the walls for a few days, but there is also a sobering detail to the whole happy-dance. You see, the story is about my mother. It is fiction. (It is! I swear!) And [...]

Lilya 4-Ever…

I first saw the movie Lilya 4-Ever by myself in a practically empty theater in the middle of a weekday, on a whim—knowing nothing of what to expect, just that it was about a girl, and there would be subtitles, and was showing at 1 o’clock. I sat toward the front. Two men were in [...]

Urgent Announcement: *Seems I Have a Double!*

I took myself out to lunch at a place I’ve been to before. The waitress saw me come in and looked at me strangely. She said, “Sit anywhere you’d like.” So I took the last table along the wall of windows, even though a discarded tip and old water glass was still there, and I [...]

Faraway Friends

I have a friend I’ve seen maybe four times in my life. Each time I feel an intense connection, sure she is someone I am meant to know. We bond over the strangest things—art, books, blogs, cities, yes, but also booty girls, underwear, waxes, cheesecake. She doesn’t judge me. She’s an inspiration. If I had [...]

Unable to E-nun-ci-ate, and Other Story Problems

I’m at a difficult spot in the short story I’m writing: the final scene where it all comes together. The how-did-this-happen, the full circle, the change everyone says you must come to in a story, the WHY. To be honest, the story is about me, but no longer about me, it’s more personal a piece [...]

Distorted Memory

Memories are twisted. They’re worse than play-doh. Let’s just say I had a friend, and we spent many years together, and many of my memories are tangled up with this person, and I would only assume, I would have to assume, that her memories would be the same. Or similar. Or at least have mention [...]

Magic

An old friend who has come to visit is a magician. I didn’t know until last night, and it thrills me. I am the most gullible person when it comes to tricks. I want them to be real magic. I do not want to know the secret (please do not tell me). When his trick [...]

Happy Typo Day!

This was forwarded to me today from a business email one poor (high-level) soul sent out, apologizing for a book publishing mistake:
We apologize deeply for the incontinence and appreciate your understanding.
It’s my favorite typo of the month! Or year! It’s beautiful!
I’m thinking of starting a collection for my wall at work, so if you have [...]

Philadelphia

I needed to see my sister. It was imperative. I’ve talked about her before. She’s 9 1/2 years younger than me, a poet, a beauty, a student, a waitress, not a baby anymore and I’ve stopped calling her that, for the most part (or at least out loud). But she’s been going through a tough [...]